First World Problems

First World Problems

First World charity to Third World countries is in general terrific, but at times our fabulous beneficence goes a little too far. For example, has anyone else noticed the poor of the Third World increasingly wearing secondhand clothes donated by us in the First World?

The old, tattered frocks customarily worn by the unwashed masses of these godforsaken countries bore a certain charm, their rags were often fashioned by hand, and in the family for generations. But now that they’re sporting our unwanted apparel, they just look like poor people from the First World. (I saw one child wearing a Vancouver Grizzlies jersey – yeah, that’s not even old enough to be retro, for heaven’s sake.) Seriously, when people help poor people in a Third World country, they do not want to be reminded of poor people from a First World country!

Overall, I’m not advocating for the sudden reduction of charity to the Third World, who knows where those desperate, poverty-stricken unfortunates would be if it weren’t for us; but from henceforth, instead of clothing, let’s direct our unbounded generosity towards problems that are perhaps a tad more fitting.